i hope u find someone that mindlessly plays with your hands and lightly strokes your legs and massages your back and plays with your hair and i hope that u feel like you’re home when u look at them
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5 years ago i was a fucking mess & now i’m a fucking mess but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense
5 years ago i was a fucking mess & now i’m a fucking mess but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense
I think I always wanted love to prove me wrong in the end. See, I’m pretty cynical. I’m sceptical. I don’t believe in love at first sight and I don’t think there is only one person in this world for each and every one of us. I don’t believe that there’s someone out there waiting for me, expecting me, looking for the right moment to rush into my life at full speed and rescue me. To fix me. To make me a better person.
Maybe I was never comfortable not knowing where exactly I was going. I prodded at things until they ignited, I added fuel to the fire until it all crashed and burned. I saw the end long before it was coming. I loved long and hard, and short and heated, but I never found the feeling I’d been looking for. That others described but that I could never really relate to. But I’m hopeful. I’m adaptive. I believe that you can meet someone and instantly know that this person will play a bigger role in your life. That you look at them and feel your heart rush into your throat and you know, oh you know, that this is going to be new and exciting and beautiful, no matter how long it lasts. I believe that some souls respond to ours in kind, and that we will run into these people we are supposed to meet, no matter which way we choose to go. Perhaps I even have to admit that I believe that there’s someone out there waiting for me, expecting me, who can’t wait to finally meet me. I still want love to prove me wrong. I’m waiting for it to knock me off my feet, to make me believe in all the things I called silly before, to show me things I’ve never seen before. To be honest, I’m simply waiting for somebody to come along who takes all of my beliefs and breaks them apart piece by piece.
n.j. (via ninasdrafts)
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